Want to know what happened in the middle? Then call EFT Nottingham for a free chat about how EFT can help you with emotional and physical challenges. This simple, do-it-yourself tapping technique is part of a revolutionary shift in the way we approach health and well-being. What have you got to lose?

Did you read the last post on ‘love’ and recognise some imbalances in the way you express yourself within relationships? Are you in a relationship that is bringing up all of your insecurities? Are you trying to work out what is going wrong? Do you want to work towards a healthier relationship with yourself using EFT and BodyTalk? Firstly, read through the following statements and answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The key to identifying what issues you can tap on is to step back from your relationship and look for the times that your insecurities either sabotage relationship success, or keep you in an unhappy situation because of negative and limiting self-beliefs.

Can you answer ‘yes’ to any of these statements?

• I often find myself attracted to unsuitable partners (emotionally, physically, mentally)?
• I spend a lot of my time trying to make my partner happy.
• I apologise even when I know it’s not my ‘fault’
• I complain to my close friends and family about my partner’s behaviour and am unhappy but I can’t seem to let the relationship go.
• If my partner is angry or upset with me, I cannot do anything else until I have resolved the argument.
• If I’m upset about something my partner has done, or how a situation makes me feel, I dismiss my feelings to avoid conflict.
• I feel so relieved after a fight and we make up because now I have a opportunity to be a better girlfriend/boyfriend.
• My feelings of self-worth depend on how my relationship is going.
• My relationship goes in cycles: things are going ok, then we fight, then I apologise and do everything I can to make it up, then the cycle starts all over again.
• I dismiss my own upsets because I’m scared of losing my partner.
• I want to spend all of my time with my partner because it proves to me that we are close.
• If close friends or family give me opinions about my relationship that don’t support it continuing, I avoid talking to them about it again.
• I don’t think I’d cope well without my partner.
• I suffer from jealousy/I cheat/I am being cheated on.
• I have ditched a lot of the things I used to enjoy doing because I’m in a relationship now.

If you can answer ‘yes’ to any of those statements, then you may be sabotaging your own happiness with your insecurities or putting up with an unhealthy relationship because negative and limiting beliefs distort your sense of self-worth.

Standing back from relationship drama and asking yourself the questions: ‘what is this relationship telling me about myself?’, ‘what is the message I’m getting back from this relationship?’ and ‘have I been here before?’. This gives you your next clue as to what you are getting from this relationship. If the message is ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not enough’ then you have some tappable issues that you can start to work on. If the message is ‘I’m not getting what I want from this’, then ask yourself what it is that you want? If the answer is to feel safe, to feel important, wanted or loveable you need to ask yourself why YOU don’t feel these things about yourself. If you get the sinking feeling that ‘yes, I have been here before’, then you might want to get tapping on the pattern that you have identified.

At EFT Nottingham we work in a session to shift your emotional register and uncover negative patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships; uncovering the reasons why you respond in certain ways romantically. Sessions at EFT Nottingham can resolve distorted belief systems, balance and release emotions that no longer serve you. Your relationships are mirrors that reflect your sense of self back to you and if you are caught in unhappy, unbalanced and unhealthy relationships it’s because at some level you need to take notice and learn about the imbalance within you. YOU are the common factor in your relationships and YOU are the person that can make yourself happy. If you have ‘been here before’ then a new partner is not going to make the difference until YOU change the pattern. Having relationships that give your partner the message that you can’t be happy without them is actually giving them the message that ‘it is your job to make me happy’. What a responsibility for them to carry. If you compromise your own happiness to stay with someone then is that really ‘love’?

We all need support and love but if we seek relationships to fulfill the part of ourselves that we are missing then we are almost certainly going to experience relationship difficulties.

At EFT Nottingham I strive to empower my clients and to remind them of their own value, experiences, resources and strengths. When you have a healthy, happy relationship with yourself then you are truly the most attractive person around. Date yourself first and the rest will follow but if you need a bit of help getting past the patterns, resolving the negative beliefs and want a greater awareness of just how amazing you are then book in for a session.

When we fall in love, everything goes well and we feel healthy, happy, beautiful, creative and motivated. You can express yourself to this person like no-one else. You are full of excitement and you feel really special. We spend an awful lot of time daydreaming about love, looking for that special person, trying to hold on to that person and focusing on our romantic relationships.

Of course our personal experiences shape our attitudes to romance and we all have our very personal stories to tell but if we look to the chakra system we may find some explanations about how we express ourselves within relationships. The chakras might be seen as the seats of consciousness through which we express ourselves. They are centres that transform energy in to nerve, cellular and hormonal energy within the bodymind and become active at various times within the lifecycle.

Healthy expression through the base chakra allows us to feel grounded, nurtured and secure within the material world. Insecurity, the feeling of nothing being enough, being unloved and uncared for despite our relationship are signs that this chakra is unbalanced.

The sexual chakra concerns self-love, healthy body-awareness and sensuality and many people find expression through this chakra difficult. Sexual inadequacy, jealousy and possessiveness are signs of imbalances here.

The solar plexus chakra has to do with personal power, the assimilation of emotions and abundance. If we express ourselves well through this chakra we have high self-esteem, and we manifest our sense of personal power within our romantic relationships. Distorted and overbearing personalities which mask insecurities, anger- either turned on partners or bottled up and the giving away of personal power in return for ‘love’ are signs that we have problems within this chakra.

The heart chakra expands and becomes more dynamic when we fall in love, but who are we really falling in love with? We may be drawn to a person because they are beautiful, talented, funny, kind, passionate or exciting. However, as our relationship is always a mirror, what we are drawn to is inevitably an aspect of ourselves that we see reflected in that person. Because many of us already have problems with our self-expression, self-esteem and self-awareness we are unable to see that the specialness we attribute to our lover is actually our own power and specialness. We refuse to ‘own it’ and so make our partner responsible for ‘making us’ feel special. We give away our power and then need it back!

We make our happiness contingent upon that person doing something for us. We put pressure on our partner to give us emotional stability.  No wonder we get angry and disappointed when they don’t or can’t reciprocate it. If we are insecure and think we need someone to complete us, then we are always going to have problems within relationships. If you are constantly attracting relationships that show up these imbalances and want to move beyond these insecurities I’ll be doing the next post with specific advice and tapping tips.

At EFT Nottingham, my clients learn to resolve relationship issues by looking inwards and by learning that having a positive relationship with self is THE key to manifesting healthy relationships within their romantic lives.

If you have repeatedly injured a body part then this can denote anger at what that body part represents, or for the more flexible thinkers out there, it can be ‘past life’ or 8th chakra issues that are still resonating within your bodymind now. Injuring a specific body part can also mean you are sabotaging yourself in an attempt to move beyond a personal issue. Emotional factors also play a fundamental part in the activity of viruses, parasites and bacteria in the bodymind. Bacteria thrive in an emotional environment of fear, viruses are fed by anger and fungi represent hanging on to old stuff. Here are some of the health issues I have experienced and the emotional factors involved. Maybe you can comment on what you suffer with and I can make some suggestions as to what might be going on emotionally?

I have injured my right, inner ankle bone on many occasions throughout my teens. Most recently twice when out being ’sociable’ (ahem). Well surprise, surprise for someone who has been having a personal life overhaul in the last two years, the gallbladder meridian runs through the inner ankle. The consciousness of the gallbladder is decision-making. Subconsciously (or perhaps not so subconsciously!) I am resisting stepping forward with my life by sabotaging the function of my ankle. By being present to what my body is telling me, I am able to understand better that pushing myself only creates resistance. My ankle is just telling me that there are more factors I need to consider that influence my ability to step forward than just material ones. My tendency to rush through stuff was stalled by my body showing me that I needed emotional stability as well as a change of work, relationship status and family arrangements.

I also used to suffer really badly with cold sores. When I was younger I had absolutely awful ones which never really responded to any treatments. Viruses are fed by anger and the emotional component to cold sores is when you ‘bitching’ to say something. They represent angry words and fear of expressing them. Suffice to say this resonated with me as a child and as an adult during difficult relationships. During my BodyTalk sessions I always used to wonder why the virus had never come up. However as I had various types of anger released from various body parts and bodily systems I really got a clearer understanding of what was happening. The anger that I couldn’t express was released through the cold sore attacks. Once I had begun to deal with this emotion, my bodymind didn’t need this form of release. It took a while for anger to really come up in sessions but I haven’t had a cold sore since. The virus was never directly prioritised by my body but seems to have dealt with it anyway.

What next? Backache. When my daughter was young I suffered a really awful bout of pain in my left side hip and through my left leg. (Friends may recall me having to drag myself across the floor to the front door to let someone in to help!) The emotional factors? Feeling unsupported . Refusing support (very me). Stepping through into a new way of life (motherhood) and as it was my left side that suffered there are the obvious links to femininity. When I tapped on these factors the pain went overnight.

I have lots of these stories so let me know if you find them useful, or want to hear more about my adenoids, weird knee infection, warts, period pains, pins and needles? Leave a comment or two on what’s bothering you and I’ll let you know what emotional factors may be playing out within your bodymind. This post has already generated a few questions so I’ll add to it in my next post.

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Ben is a regular contributor to the BodyTalk forum and always gives excellent answers to questions. His experience as a practitioner and instructor make him a great advocate for BodyTalk and he gives a detailed explanation as to the benefits and effects of BodyTalk. He gives a demonstration of the Cortices technique on the second clip. He talks about how Bodytalk allows the bodymind to address imbalances within itself, the role of male and female energies within the body, stress, the breathing cycle and the BodyTalk Protocol.

By the way, the host Jay Stone is correct on the importance of correct breathing- the reason we should be breathing in through our nose is because it cleans the air of irritants, pollen and dust and prepares the air temperature for the lungs. Mouth breathing is a common issue for people (see my post on ‘I Am the Mouth’) as it damages the lungs and allows illness to disrupt the lungs and throat more easily. Yet another reason to use BodyTalk which as Ben explains, is really needed by EVERYONE due to the effects of modern day living and the stresses this places on our bodies and minds.

When a practitioner makes hand contact with the client, they establish a local energy matrix and when the practitioner establishes the parts of the bodymind that require linking (the heart to the small intestine for example) it produces intent.

The intent is then materialised within that energy matrix (the practitioner and the client) through the ‘tapping out’ of the links: the physical tapping combined with the intent creates a soliton. A soliton is a self-reinforcing solitary wave (a wave packet or pulse) that maintains its shape while it travels at constant speed. This ‘wave’ travels through the clients bodymind, sending the intent through the bodymind

This changes the energic model of the bodymind which in turn effects the structure, then function of the cells within the client. This is why we are able to effect change within the client ‘just’ through tapping them out according to the priorities we establish during the session. And this is why BodyTalk is so effective: because it changes the bodymind at a cellular level which then cascades throughout the bodymind.

Science is at last confirming what BodyTalk practitioners already know: that subtle energies exist within the body and they have fundamental effects on physical health and wellbeing. And that tapping the head and sternum produce measurable changes to brain function. Combine these approaches and you have a BodyTalk session.

Let’s look at the treatment for the Cortices; the two parts of the brain and how this simple tapping treatment can bring health empowerment through its daily application.

The Amygdala, the two almond-sized parts of the brain responsible for survival and the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism. It produces two emotions: acute fear for life (flight) and rage (fight). It Produces adrenaline and various physiological responses to enact either the evasion of or the attack of the threat. Once danger has been evaded or overcome the Amygdala produces dopamine to end the fight or flight response, calm the body down and to re-set it’s mechanism.

Another evolutionary capacity of the brain is the Behaviour Inhibition System or ‘playing dead’ to evade predators. Playing dead is the brain’s response to overwhelming input and this shows up contemporarily as ‘coping’ with stress: we shut down. In contemporary society the survival instinct is fired-off constantly because of external noise, visual disturbances, environmental input and living in close approximation to many people. This is information overload for the Amygdala which goes into coping-mode and fires up the emotions of fear and rage. It constantly fires off the fight or flight response but because we suppress the rage and fear it never re-sets itself. The Amygdala looks at the stress internally and externally and responds by producing an ever greater need for security and safety, but also greater rage and hostility.

This vicious circle caused the Amygdala and the Amygdala Complex to operate under greater and greater stress. The Amygdala Complex controls the immune system, endocrine function and of course, the fight or flight response.

The effect of this is that the whole body exists under stress this impairs the fundamental systems of the body. This stress cascades down through the whole body and we see the effects of this in heart disease, hypertension, allergies, immune disorders, cancers, digestive problems and depression.

The ‘tapping out’ of the Cortices begins to reset and repair the Amygdala. Tapping out the Cortices daily will, after around two months, produce noticeable changes in the operation of the Amygdala. This then effects total wellbeing as stress within the body is reduced and the brain’s survival centre is repaired. It cannot be overstated how effective this simple technique can be in helping the body to respond effectively to modern stress.

Although clients may need specific BodyTalk treatments to allow the body to respond to chronic illnesses or injuries for example, the Cortices technique will improve the effectiveness of sessions, make the healing and repairing process quicker and most importantly it can be done by every client without the need for a BodyTalk session.

]]> http://www.eftnottingham.com/body-talk/health-empowerment-in-2-minutes.html/feed http://www.eftnottingham.com/body-talk/health-empowerment-in-2-minutes.html http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/EftNottingham/~3/285235118/i-am-your-brain.html http://www.eftnottingham.com/body-talk/i-am-your-brain.html#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:54:37 +0000 admin http://www.eftnottingham.com/?p=28 Please, please, please take the time to watch this amazing talk by a neuro-scientist who witnesses her own stroke but recovers to give us a humbling and inspirational exposition of left and right brain function. When I work as a BodyTalk’er I utilise right-brain function more and more…

My intuitive links expand to make deeper and stronger links. I am also aware of the fundamental sameness that ‘We’ as ‘Humans’ all share. BodyTalk gives me a practical framework to hang this right-brain sense on to and it makes better and better sessions for my clients. But don’t just take it from me. Here is a real-life scientist at the top of her game telling you all about it:

This series begins with the mouth, and the knee and wrist are soon to follow. The mouth is a major sensory organ which allows us to discern dangers through smell and taste. Our immunity begins with saliva, our tonsils and adenoids. Our masseter muscles are linked to the processing of genetic information and our teeth symbolise our incorporatory and predatory character, and this article adds another dimension to our understanding of the complexity of our bodies.

These posts contain articles or quotes from other authors which will be referenced; in this case it’s Raymond Silkman.

This well-researched and fascinating article on the effects of dental work on the posture of the body, the breathing cycle and the cascade of effects that come from orthodox dentistry. Having had six of my teeth pulled out and a lot of dental work as a teenager, I found a lot to consider in this article.

http://www.westonaprice.org/healthissues/facial-development.html

Why do we sabotage our attempts to improve our well-being? Our brains adhere to patterns and rituals as they, evolutionarily, have kept us safe. The brain is such a brilliant pattern-matching machine that is does it’s job even when we are desperate for it to stop. It has a lot of difficulty letting go of patterns, belief systems and behaviours that no longer serve us: the very patterns that may be causing problems for us. When we use EFT we allow the brain to reroute it’s circuits and thus allow patterns and unwanted behaviours to be resolved.

Sabotage occurs when our subconscious brain doesn’t want to let the pattern, belief or behaviour go. It doesn’t know whether it’s safe to do so, so it hangs on just in case. Sabotaging strategies are particularly clever because the subconscious can make you operate against your conscious mind.

Sabotaging strategies see clients thinking ‘this is NOT working for me!’ and so they need to be reminded that they have ‘made changes A, B, and C so far, so why wouldn’t they be able to make THIS change?’. Sabotage throws up distractions from tapping including forgetting just how much progress you have already made.

Sabotage, ironically, appears with EFT a lot because EFT is so effective. Sometimes the subconscious mind is a little unsettled by just how fast things are moving. But that is fine. I’m alert to sabotage having had lots of experience of it myself and I try to educate clients about it.

But if you are having doubts about the effectiveness of EFT, are worried that it just won’t work for you, you are putting off an appointment that you really need or say things like ‘I can’t afford it’ or ‘I don’t have time’, then you are sabotaging yourself. Being aware of sabotage is the best way to move towards a resolution of your issue using EFT.